Whenever you hear people are moving abroad, the sense of braveness and admiration comes around. Of course, it is such a great feeling to go on your own adventure in a foreign country with a different culture and language. Most people are intrigued by the question “Why did you move?”. For most of us, it all started with a study exchange, work opportunities or just because I wanted to.
There are many people who look at the social media of an expat and think “wow, I wish I could do that”. Most of us have seen that meme going around with the phrase “Choosing whether go back to work or start a new life abroad”. The good times, we show the good pictures, the new friendships, the new apartment, the city. However, believe it or not, there is also a lot of pain. A lot of behind the scene emotions that most people will never understand.
Happy but also very sad
One of the key words is “Homesick”. Although everyone knows it means missing the life back home and the surroundings/people, not everyone know that homesickness never goes away. Personally, I could be smiling to your face, but my heart could be missing my relatives. Whenever I get to discover a new city or restaurant that I really like, there is also a to of sadness because I can’t share that moment with my parents or close friends. I agree with the saying “you can never have it all”; maybe one day but not today.
I try to explain to my close friends what homesick is, most of them are there for me and remind me that I also have a home here in Holland. Although a very nice gesture, it will never help leaving the guilt that I have for choosing myself and leaving my parents behind. I agree, it was my choice to move, but that doesn’t mean I am not entitle to suffer whilst thriving abroad.
This feeling of guilt, it never goes away. If you have been travelling your whole life, you probably know what I mean. All those missed birthdays, Christmas, celebrations, time can never get it back. The moments on which I am super high and then crying in bed all night because I am miserable without the warmth of my parents, that is not shown on social media. People don’t realize how brave expats are for the commitment and delicacy to focus on themselves, making their parents proud, even though, it hurts a lot to be away from them.
Be proud of yourself
Overall, if you are an expat, and by that I mean a person committed to move away from home for a long period of time, be proud of yourself. Nobody knows the internal struggle that we go through. thinking always about your parents, family, relatives. They don’t know the tears you have shed, they don’t know the amount of homesickness and possible depression that goes being away from home. Yet, for some reason, we do it to make them proud. We do it to choose ourselves. New memories. For the legacy that we will leave and the people we meet.
Know that you are not alone. Know that this indescribable feeling is felt by many people, including myself. It is okay to cry, It is okay to miss them, it is okay to still move away. Expats are probably one of the strongest people around because they have the courage, power and ambition to do what others could not handle. What others think its easy but don’t really know the struggles that come with choosing ourselves.
